A veteran interviewer gives great tips on becoming a great conversationalist.

Terry Gross, the host of NPR’s Fresh Air, has been interviewing and talking with folks for 40 years. In this New York Times article she outlines 8 great tips for improving your skills at talking with others and getting better at conversations. These are practical and easy skills and real boon to all iguana who may struggle with knowing how to …

The Five Areas : A framework for balanced living

In the course of a day we are active in a range of activities and modes of being. We think, reflect, and remember about events; we experience a range of emotions and reactions both to what is happening to us currently and in the past; we walk, breathe, stretch and step; we engage others in conversation, observe their actions and …

“Talking about” vs. “Speaking to” : The trap of the drama triangle

Invariably when I am meeting with a client a significant portion of  time and discussion may be  focused on a person or people who are nowhere near our session. Some of these folks may not even be alive, yet they maintain a presence as large and as vital as anyone in the world for my client.  The absent person(s) speak …

Healthy Relationships: Your Life Really Does Depend on Them

You have had a stressful day at work- everything that could go wrong has gone wrong.  When you finally get home you want nothing more than to collapse on the sofa and take a long nap. As you walk in the door you are greeted by big eyes with an attentive stare, small, greeting sounds and a warm face happy …

Lonely in a relationship? Breaking through blocks to intimacy- Part 2

So many times one partner in a couple will say “I am not sure what I want but I know it is not this…”. Before demanding change of the one you love be sure you know that change you will need to make for yourself.  Repairing relationships is often a multi-step process. For some couples and families require initial individual …

Lonely in a relationship? Breaking through blocks to intimacy- Part 1

I am in a relationship. I am never alone. How can I feel so lonely?! We have all heard the old saying “Sometimes the loneliest place is in the middle of a crowd…”. And whether you are straight, gay, lesbian, bisexual, or transgendered, you may find that even in your closest, most intimate relationships you experience a sense of disconnect, …

7 Skills for Passing Through Emotional Storms

 Even on good days we can experience a range of emotions from positive to negative. But on these days, just like a well-designed ocean liner, we can ride the waves and right our thinking and actions. Researchers refer to this quality of self-balancing in humans as “resiliency” and have identified this as an important factor in success in academic, professional, …

I am never as lonely as when I am with you…

We don’t seek out companions to feel alone. We don’t give ourselves to someone special to feel ignored.  We enter into relationships with hope and expectation- with the deep belief that finally we will experience a sense of belonging and understanding. Even those of us with healthy families and happy childhood memories look forward to the opportunity to share what …

Three words can revitalize, and even save, your relationship

When we are caught in a conflict words can become our greatest obstacle. Either there are so many that we can never feel satisfied that we have expressed all the hurt and anger we have experienced or we struggle to even begin to describe the pain and fire that burns inside.   We may alternate between floods of recrimination and defense …